Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Chapter 9: What makes people changed

I like seeing people's pictures.

For me, it likes reading a history book. A lot of people likes posting their pictures online, including me, yes that's right. And most of them are not only posting their new pictures but also their old ones. I have many friends, or I can say I know them but they're not my friends. Anyway, when I was looking at their pictures, I always think how time has changed them. They are totally different from what they used to be. I am not only talking about their style, of course it would be different. But the decision they made to change themselves, it was a big deal. Overall, it makes me think of myself too. I have changed from the way I used to be. I AM a different person now. But I can't never judge how "far" my changes are. By seeing those pictures of my friends and the changes in their life, I thank God that my changes are not guiding me to failure. I hope so.

Back to main story. I can never guess, or maybe I don't really try looking for the answers, but I don't know exactly what makes people changed their life. Time? Peers? Family? Whom to ask? And whom to blame? No one to ask but the person itself who might not even know what have changed them. I cannot blame anyone for nothing either. But sometimes I make my own "research" and "conclusion" which sometimes they are reasonable. For example; just call her Miss Flirt. I saw from her high school pictures and comments from her friends and teachers about how religious she is, always got back home directly after school and always obey her parents rules. You can tell that her friends are 98% female. Looking at the way she dress, so polite; huge dress and big scarfs. Now when she's far away from her family and study in university, she has changed. She knows how to dress trendy, and no more big scarfs. And the thing that quite shocking me out was her relationship with guys. I mean, WOW, she has a very long lists. What I observed, she never really has "free-time" hanged out with her guy friends while she was still in high school and her parents still can control her closely. Other thing, her brother is very protective, I don't know why. But I think there's some rule about no guy friend for her or something. Even it is very difficult for a guy to ask her out. They have to pick her up first and meet her parents (read: little interview with them). And then suddenly she has this freedom. And she uses it very well.

Another example; call her Miss Petite. She is so pretty, smart, and she has her needs (read: car and big allowance from her parents). Everybody loves her because she's this kind of innocent and kind person whom you never think badly about. Until finally she found her first love which turned to be her forever disaster. Since she has relationship with this only one guy in her life (she never ever has boyfriend before, as a record) she was totally changed. She lied with her family about her whereabouts. She didn't spend her time with her friends anymore or even when she finally in trouble she was too shy asking for help because she didn't even remember them when she was happy. My questions; how could she change? What made her change? And it wasn't a good change at all. Until suddenly she got pregnant before marriage. Nothing she can do but getting married with her forever boyfriend which now is her husband, has her own baby, and worst of all she has to lost almost everything she has dreamt for; education, teenage life, and other opportunities. You have to see her mom, she still can't accept it. She is even feel more sad than her. Yes, of course. Whose mother can stand in front of people who's talking about her daughter getting pregnant outside marriage?? Sometimes when you changed it's not only affecting you as a personal but also other people around you.

But doesn't mean that those are only bad changes. No. There are more good changes happened in this life. Just take Mr. Black as an example. You can say, he's the naughtiest kid you have ever met! Never ever think that you will escape from his little evil trick which can turn you into deep hatred. He was a perfect liar. And, above all he's a genius. No one can ever think of the way to make him become a good person. No one. Until one day, he told his parents that he wanted to go to Islamic School and further his study there. He was still young and very naughty that time but he suddenly decided to be a good person? So sudden?? Without no one knows why. Without him telling people why. But he did it. He studied in that Islamic boarding school which some low-minded parents called "prison" and in just a year after, you see a good boy with a pure heart and wonderful attitude. You never can imagine that he used to manipulate his own parents just to get what he wanted. He is now the best example in his family.

I always want to know what makes people change. Okay, let me tell you my dirty little secret, actually it's almost like a hobby. I like stalking on people. Alright, alright. I know it's not good and Samar keeps telling me not to stalk on our neighbors but I like it. Now she kinda likes it too. Haha. Okay, the point is. I don't interrupt people business, no I don't like that. I just like "observing the life", observing the people. Some of them, I swear, has given me a good example and I follow it. Some of bad examples, I used it as a reminder to myself not to do it. By knowing other people experience I learn a lot about life, friendship, love, self-achievement, and power. People become successful, two persons fall in love, betrayal in friendship. Those things happen in this world and I'd love to know why is it happened.

Above all, I know that people changed for many resons. But whatever the reasons are, their background and life in the past have given them big effect to the changes they have now. Either it's worse or better, I still can find something to learn. And in the end, it will turn me to become a better person. And maybe you too.

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