Hi all..
This time I want to write about something that bothering my head quite lately. Everybody needs to make a difference, or what I say here facing the challenges. But it is not as easy as I say it. Facing challenges and making differences are difficult. I remember my friend, QT, said that changes are interesting. He said, you can have something new, something you never have before either in terms of friends, experiences and so on. But, don't forget about one thing; once you face a new change it means that you have to leave your old "comfortable-zone". And leaving something you already feel comfortable and love so much is hard. Very hard.
Just take the first sample when my grandma died. I felt so empty. There was something missing. The fact that I couldn't be there for her funeral because I have study here, and the fact that, after this everything's gonna change. I keep reminding myself that I won't see her face again. I cannot hug her again. I try to remember what was the last thing she said to me. Worse, I forgot. But I always remember the things she always told me to do; find a nice guy to get married with, and never eat a lot of rice. Yes, my grandma's cool. She always told me not to eat a lot of rice. A girl has to have a nice body. I think most of other grandma will just let you eat as much as she can give you, but it won't happen with my grandma. Anyway, it was so bad when we had our last Eid. Grandma wasn't there. See, sometimes changes make you feel bad. I was trying to be in my mom position. If I was the one who has to loose my mom, I don't think I'll be as though as her.
Sooner, I have to make another changes. I have to face another challenges. I'm studying here in UUM approximately two and half years now. Trust me, everybody in UUM, they all say "I wanna go out from this jungle as soon as possible", and that what I said too. But once you find new best friends, making a lot of memorable experiences together, just like me, you will feel like you wanna stay here longer. You don't wanna loose them. That's what in front of me now.
Next semester will be my last semester (inshaallah). And after that either I like it or not, I have to move out from this jungle. The monkeys will be so sad not seeing me anymore or stealing my foods. Serious, I know QT's right, what facing me out there maybe will be something more interesting. I'll have my practicum, meeting new people, having new environments and all. But how about my life previously and presently. Here I mean my best friends. Those people I love. I already get used to be with them. I always having them around when I'm happy and sad. They are there for me. If I have to move to the new environment, where can I find them?
I won't have Muna there to punch my head and keep reminding her that's a taboo thing to do. I cannot call Amber and tell her there's a guy kissing me because she'll be far away in Dubai, and like I cannot spend my money for phone credits. Doh. I won't have Samar sleeping next to me anymore. I cannot ask Fatima to cook for me when I'm hungry but I don't have money to buy my own food or I just find a reason to make her cook for me, hehe. I won't have Zida telling me to be feminim and all. I cannot have QT who knows me better than I thought and always know what I'm thinking. And I won't have Ibro sitting next to me and boycot my laptop or keep asking for food. I will miss his sweetness.
Can you see that, I'm gonna miss all of those stuff. Now you know why, sometimes, I don't like facing challenges. It wasn't cool at all to be far away from your best friends. I hate it. But now, what can I do?? I mean, I need to find something that won't make me feel so sad. I still have 6 months to go before I fight.
Wish me luck, people!
This time I want to write about something that bothering my head quite lately. Everybody needs to make a difference, or what I say here facing the challenges. But it is not as easy as I say it. Facing challenges and making differences are difficult. I remember my friend, QT, said that changes are interesting. He said, you can have something new, something you never have before either in terms of friends, experiences and so on. But, don't forget about one thing; once you face a new change it means that you have to leave your old "comfortable-zone". And leaving something you already feel comfortable and love so much is hard. Very hard.
Just take the first sample when my grandma died. I felt so empty. There was something missing. The fact that I couldn't be there for her funeral because I have study here, and the fact that, after this everything's gonna change. I keep reminding myself that I won't see her face again. I cannot hug her again. I try to remember what was the last thing she said to me. Worse, I forgot. But I always remember the things she always told me to do; find a nice guy to get married with, and never eat a lot of rice. Yes, my grandma's cool. She always told me not to eat a lot of rice. A girl has to have a nice body. I think most of other grandma will just let you eat as much as she can give you, but it won't happen with my grandma. Anyway, it was so bad when we had our last Eid. Grandma wasn't there. See, sometimes changes make you feel bad. I was trying to be in my mom position. If I was the one who has to loose my mom, I don't think I'll be as though as her.
Sooner, I have to make another changes. I have to face another challenges. I'm studying here in UUM approximately two and half years now. Trust me, everybody in UUM, they all say "I wanna go out from this jungle as soon as possible", and that what I said too. But once you find new best friends, making a lot of memorable experiences together, just like me, you will feel like you wanna stay here longer. You don't wanna loose them. That's what in front of me now.
Next semester will be my last semester (inshaallah). And after that either I like it or not, I have to move out from this jungle. The monkeys will be so sad not seeing me anymore or stealing my foods. Serious, I know QT's right, what facing me out there maybe will be something more interesting. I'll have my practicum, meeting new people, having new environments and all. But how about my life previously and presently. Here I mean my best friends. Those people I love. I already get used to be with them. I always having them around when I'm happy and sad. They are there for me. If I have to move to the new environment, where can I find them?
I won't have Muna there to punch my head and keep reminding her that's a taboo thing to do. I cannot call Amber and tell her there's a guy kissing me because she'll be far away in Dubai, and like I cannot spend my money for phone credits. Doh. I won't have Samar sleeping next to me anymore. I cannot ask Fatima to cook for me when I'm hungry but I don't have money to buy my own food or I just find a reason to make her cook for me, hehe. I won't have Zida telling me to be feminim and all. I cannot have QT who knows me better than I thought and always know what I'm thinking. And I won't have Ibro sitting next to me and boycot my laptop or keep asking for food. I will miss his sweetness.
Can you see that, I'm gonna miss all of those stuff. Now you know why, sometimes, I don't like facing challenges. It wasn't cool at all to be far away from your best friends. I hate it. But now, what can I do?? I mean, I need to find something that won't make me feel so sad. I still have 6 months to go before I fight.
Wish me luck, people!
1 comment:
for me what you need to do is make as much memories as you can.
do everything that u wanna do.
finish everything that haven't finish.
said everything that u always keep in your head.
tell them everything that u always keep in your heart.
so that when the time is coming (and it will come for sure!), no more regret but all sweet memories that you ever have these amazing people as your besties here.
Post a Comment