Chapter 2: The Beauty of Ramadhan

Salaam...

There's something bothering my mind. A thinking. About Ramadhan.
This is the 3rd Ramadhan I have in Malaysia. I cannot say that I enjoyed it that much for those two previous Ramadhan. But this time, this Ramadhan, alhamdulellah, I enjoy it more than I can imagine. You might not know how different it is to have Ramadhan with and without your family. I used to have Mom who always tickles me and wakes me up for sahoor (early morning meal before Fajr). She never forgets to make a good appetizer for iftaar (break-fasting). Dad who always force (because we barely do it heartedly LOLs) us to go pray Taraweh in the mosque. My younger sister who sneaks the food thinking that we don't know but actually we know. Me wash tons of clothes because our housemaid goes back to her hometown and many other memorable things.

It was way different while I have to face the fact that I'm having my Ramadhan without my family. It's kinda tough the first time I tried but at least I can survive even though I never really feel the beauty of Ramadhan itself. There are a lot of things I've never done on the previous two Ramadhan but I do it in this Ramadhan such as;

1. Wake up for Sahoor. Yess. It was very difficult for me to wake up for Sahoor. I was damn lazy. Even if I did wake up I could only manage to eat an Appolo cake or Oath with a glass of water. That's it. What happened after it is so predictable. I felt so dizzy in the middle of the day because I didn't eat properly and I felt so weak. But amazingly it didn't happen this time. I wake up every day, 5A.M, I prepare my Sahoor; toast with chocolate and cheese, boiled eggs, cereal, or fried rice and lot of plain water. I am proud of myself, I can't even believe it myself. I mean, me?? Wake up so early in the morning?? With no mom who has to tickling me and wake me up up?? Me?? Yeah, it's me. The new me.

2. Pray on time. I even used to skip praying. That was bad. But this Ramadhan, OMG, every time I heard adzan I feel something pushing me to take wudhu and pray. I am, again, proud to say to myself that I never skipped, not even once, the five times prays a day this Ramadhan! I'm trying not to sound arrogant, because I don't want it to be a sin saying all of this things, but subhanallah... I mean, I can't even believe it myself. The best part is I also do my Taraweh every night. Although I have night class and just get back after 11, I will pray. I do feel tired but 2 rakaat Taraweh and 3 rakaat Weter won't make me feel more tired. How wonderful this Ramadhan is.. Right?? Mom asked me once about my Taraweh, she kinda disappointed because I don't go to the mosque and pray jamaah (remember, that what they always force us to do). But I explained her that I read my Qur'an in my Taraweh and I wish I can finish it by the end of Ramadhan that's why I don't go to the mosque. Also the fact that it was overall 23 rakaat and so hot in the mosque and I have to come early if I wanna take the best place underneath the fan, so thanks, I prefer to pray by my own.

3. Khatam Qur'an. Yes. This idea come from my beloved roommate, thanks to Sammar. She's the one who taught me to read Qur'an in my taraweh and try to khatam (finish). And I do it. I mean, I read it many times a day this Ramadhan and not only when I do my Taraweh. If I remember back in those previous two Ramadhan, I didn't even touch the Qur'an. I did read it but mostly because of force and some only because I was in the mood. But this time I wanna read it because I feel like I enjoy it, I want to finish it, again and again. Really, I don't know how to express this feeling. I try to read more everyday because I know once my period come, I have to stop for few days and I don't know how fast I have to catch up to finish it. Inshaallah I'll finish it. Ameen.

4. The Beauty of Ramadhan. What I mean is the days in Ramadhan itself. Nuzulul Qur'an night, Lailatul Qadr nights. I want to feel it. I want to enjoy it. Especially the last lailatul qadr nights. Everytime I think that I haven't got my period yet I pray to God to make it faster (my period) so I can get the lailatul qadr night. And allhamdulellah, I got my period although it has to cut some of the chance of my lailatul qadr nights. But still, I can't wait to welcome them. I have a lot of do'a I want to ask from God, hehehe... Hey, doesn't mean I don't ask God my do'a, I do it everytime I pray but you know that they say if you do it in lailatul qadr nights the possibility of being accepted is even bigger than the usual pray. I can't miss the chance!

Okay, that's all my story about my beautiful ramadhan. Hope people have the same feeling toward Ramadhan just the same like me or even better.

Smile!
Dara