A story about him

Something that seems so impossible can be absolutely possible if you really believe in it.

I never believe to have a feeling with someone I met in cyberspace. Someone who's for sure, I never knew before, I don't have any idea about him at all. Yes, I heard some experiences from my friends who got boyfriend from the internet and they meet up and hook up and be like a normal couple for a very long time. But that was just a crazy idea that I never thought would ever, once again - EVER, happen to me. But it does.

Since the first time we chatted, I feel so click with him. I don't know why. Okay, tell you the truth, I don't like talking with a stranger in cyber world with an exception that she's a girl or he's handsome. Yeah. I'm picky, ugly people is out of my way! Heheh.. Anyway, we just talked and talked like we're an old friend. Like, I don't know, I feel like, we're just connected. He's there for me. Especially when I remembered how down my feeling was that time, and suddenly someone came and just turned my mood better.

He's my twin. He's sweet. He's bad. He's different. He's complicated. He's there. He's adorable. He's impossible. He's sensitive. He's a dreamer. He's for good. And above all, he's mine. That's turn him to be possible. I would sit longer than I used to do just staring at my lappy and waiting for him to chatt with him. Sharing the things that I can't even share it with my best friends. I don't know why I trust him. Maybe because I don't know him at all and I feel like my secret will be safe with him? I have no idea at all.

I decided to meet him, for the first time in my life. I did another unimaginable thing. Me?? Meeting up with a stranger? Someone I just knew from Facebook? Crazy? I was. Out of my mind? I did. But I believe in myself. I had a very strong feeling that I wanna meet him. I wanna see him. I wanna know about him more. I believe in him, somehow. Then, we were there. See each other for the first time. Eveerything went as nice as it should be. But, no further move. I knew it, he knew it. Something very special doesn't go so fast or it won't be special at all.

A few days of meeting him bring me to another world. I miss him? Yes, I absolutely do! But what is this feeling inside? Love? Okay, I don't think so. I know it's not love? Then I realize.. a crush? Maybe I am. Suddenly I have a faith on him. Or I shouldn't? That's what he's gonna advice me. Don't trust him. Don't give him faith. But, it's my life. I do what I wanna do. I wanna take the chance. And, he's gonna say; up to you :D

Things have changed a little bit once I know that he introduces me as his girlfriend. I mean, wow. Since when? He never officially asked me. But, okay I don't mind with it. Then, I can't help it so I asked him. Anyway, the point is, we are couple. Then this is where I start the issue.

He has his past. He left some stories that he hasn't finished yet, or maybe he did but he forgot to close the book and put it in the rack. He must through a lot. He does, maybe, open his door for me. But he's not yet, I believe, opening his heart for me. He let me to his life, but I can't enjoy the time he gives me, yet. It makes me sad? I guess so. But no matter what, it's his life. He should make the best decision for himself. He has to stand up for what he wants, what he needs.

Sometimes, it hurts me when I have to compete with his past. Something that doesn't exist in his present life, but he keeps turning back and look at the past. How can I compete with something that is so invisible and unreachable? What should I do?

Chapter 14: THE 4 WIVES!

One of another short story I got randomly.. Hope you guys enjoy it!

::THE 4 WIVES::

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our live:

a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure. Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather that to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament.

Chapter 13: Dedicated to my beloved Mother!

My mom is a never ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. - Graycie Harmon

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. - Rajneesh

There is no velvet so soft as a mother's lap, no rose as lovely as her smile, no path so flowery as that imprinted with her footsteps. - Archibald Thompson

Those were just some pearl words about mother. This time I'd like to dedicate my writing for my lovely mom, who's also having her 45th Birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUNDA*!!!!!
PS: *Bunda is mother in Indonesian language.

Early of this month I already thought of my mom's birthday. But sadly, I kinda forget which day is her birthday :D (yeah, I know.. some of you might think I'm such a bad daughter, but hey at least I don't forget it at all!). Then I SMS my sister, asked her which day is our mom's birthday because I kinda confused among 4 or 6 or 7, then she said it's on 7. I directly wrote in my calendar "BUNDA'S BIRTHDAY" on the 7th of November.

And today, I called her and wished her Happy Birthday. But wait a second, it wasn't an easy task to call my mom. First; she's using CDMA which so damn difficult for international number to either call or SMS. I tried to SMS but I know it such a waste of credit, my mom would never receive the SMS. Then I tried to call her since the morning, but the operator keep saying "The number you're calling-" then khalaz, I just canceled it. Then I tried again, and my lucky time was in the afternoon. Finally it connected. I talked to my mom! Soo soo happy. She said she was waiting for my call since the morning and she thought I didn't have credit to call her and then I explained her everything. I also told her that me and my siblings already bought her a present and would give it to her once she gets back to Jakarta. I didn't tell her what it is because later on I found that my siblings alrealy planned to make this birthday gift as a surprise but then I told mom that we bought her something :D (Hahah, I'm a spoiler!).

Okay, continue..
The point of my writing this time is not only about her special birthday. I want to share to all of you guys how much I love my mom and how wonderful she is. I'm sure, all of you guys also have the greatest mother ever! So, let's share!

One of the best thing about my mom is her love to children. Here I'm saying not only about her own children but any other children. I'm the only child from her first marriage. My dad died a few months after I was born. I never knew my father's face. But, it doesn't matter. I think my mom is a though woman. She was left by a lovely husband and has to take care of me who was still a baby that time just by herself. You could imagine her position that time, very sad and down but at the same time she can't just give up with life like that especially after she has me. Then she told herself that she didn't wanna get married anymore, at least for a very long time, and she just wanted to rise me up and give all her best for me. But God has another plan for her.

I was two years old when my step dad (my dad now and forever) came and purposed her. She was thinking of rejecting him, not only because she had promised herself not to get married anymore for a long time and also the fact that my dad that time had not have job yet. He had, but mom's job was far away better than him. But she thought twice right after my dad brought lil two years old Stevo with lil one year old Nusi. My step dad has two failure marriage before (read: divorce). I never blame my dad for marrying such an evil step mothers (ops, sorry) but I know how wise and respectful my dad is. Anyway, you can also imagine that time, my dad without wife had to carelessly take care of two lil cute kids. Mom said, the first time she saw Stevo and Nusi, they were so cute and innocent. But you could tell that no one take care of them. Their face were dirty, their hairs were messy, their clothes were untidy. She couldn't blame my father either, because he was busy looking for a job and struggling for his family. Then, that was the first reason why mom accepted my dad, it was because the kids; Stevo and Nusi; my brother and sister. She also thought I need a father however great her treatment for me is, she knows that a figure of father is important for me. And another thing is, my dad is a good guy after all.

I never realized that I have step siblings. I feel like they're my real siblings although we have different birth mother and father. But I never feel such a different. Yes, our faces are obviously different, but deep inside me, I never feel the differences. They're there in my life, like, forever and ever! Yes, sometimes I cannot lie to myself. Sometimes I imagine if my mom never accepted my dad, Mom will only give her love to me. Everybody loves me and I don't have to share their love with my siblings. But if that was what happened, then I'd never know how it feels to have siblings, I would never know how it feels to have a father, and afterall I would never know what would happen to those two lil cute kids if my mom never said yes. No one would take care of them and I'd never dare to imagine what will happen to them right at this moment if it's not because of my mom's love. They might not have education, they might get the worst step mother ever, they might be some criminals there on the streets begging for money, or the worst you can ever imagine. I thank God I have such a wonderful mother. She never really think of herself. She just think about these lil kids' life and my life.

My mom has another two kids from her second marriage. Which means all of us now become five :D Me, the only kid suddenly have 4 siblings?? That's what we call the greatest thing ever! Heheh. A lot of people keep saying that they don't wanna have too many kids. It will give you a lot of trouble! But my parents keep saying that having lot of kids gives you more glory and happiness, and that's true. One of the happiness in my family is, no other than, of course, a new baby. Her name is Andin. Wait, let me tell you about my little angel. She's not coming to this world from my mom's, no. We adopted her. Right exactly 10 days after she was born. My mom, as usual, decided to save this little baby's life. I never knew who's her real parents but I don't mind, she's my sister now and none of you can try to harm her! My parents' story was, Andin's parents cannot afford her future. They're very poor. Mom volunteered herself to raise her up and give her education. She made some agreement with the family that they cannot see Andin until she's grown up and can decide which the best for her and for both of her family. And I can assure that all of us in the family love her very much. We give her too much love and she becomes a little bit spoiled, heheh. We just want all the best for her. My grandparents used to comment the first time they knew my mom took another kid. They thought that we cannot really afford her, but we can always show people that God will always help you in return if you help others.

I would like to thank God for the best mother ever! I would like to thank my mom for the best family ever! I might not give her more yet, and I know I could never give her more than what she has given me. But I promise myself to give all the best that I can give only for my Mom.

Love you Bunda...

Chapter 12: I Cried for My Brother 6 Times

This is a story I got from one of the milis. Hope you guys enjoy it.

I CRIED FOR MY BROTHER SIX TIMES

I was born in a very remote mountain village. Day by day, my parents plowed a dry yellow soil with their backs facing the sunny light. I have a brother, three years younger than me.

Once upon a time, I wanted to buy a handkerchief like all the girls around me. For that, I had to steal fifty cents from my father's drawer. Father immediately realized it. He makes my younger brother and I kneeld in front of the wall, with a bamboo stick in his hand.

"Who stole the money?" He said. I glued, too afraid to speak. The father did not hear anyone's confession, so he said, "OK, if so, both of you will be punished!" He raised the bamboo very high.

Suddenly, my younger brother griped my father's hands and said, "Father, I was the one who did it!" That long stick strike hard on my brother's back many times. Father was very angry so he continuously strike him with a whip until he ran out of breath. Then, he sat on the bed brick and scolded us, "If you learn to steal from the house now, what are other shameful things that you will do in the future? You deserved to be punished until you die! You ungrateful thief!"

That night, my mother and I hug my brother tightly. His body full with injuries, but he did not shed any tears. In the middle of the night, I suddenly began to cry so hard. My younger brother closed my mouth with his small hands and said, "Don't cry sister. Everything is already happened. "

I always hate myself because of not having enough encouragement to go admitting my own fault. Many years had passed, but such things still seemed just like yesterday. I will never forget my younger brother when he protected me. That time, my younger brother was 8 years old. And I was 11.

When my younger brother finished his final year in Junior High School, he was early accepted in one of the district High School. At the same time, I was also accepted in the university. That night, my father was sitting on the branch and smoked his cigarette, one and more. I heard him muttering something to my mother, "Both of our children has given good result in school. Very very good ..."

My mother whipped her tears and took a deep breath, "What's the point? How can we afford paying for both of them? " Exactly after that, my brother walked into my father and said, "Father, I don't want to continue my study. I already read too many books."

My father raised his hand and slapped my brother right on the face. "Why do you have a very weak soul? Even if I have to beg in the street I will send both of you to school! "And so then he knocked every house in the village to borrow some money. I touched my brother face gently and said, "A young man have to continue his education, if not he will never leave this poverty." I, on the other side, had decided not to continue my study to university.

No one could guess that the next day, before the dawn came, my younger brother left the house with several pieces of clothing worn and some dry beans. He was sneaking around next to the side of my bed and left a piece of paper on my pillow: "Sister, to enter university is not easy. I will go and find work to send you money." I hold the paper tightly and cried with tears streaming down and my voice had gone. That year, my younger brother was 17 years. And I was 20.

With the money my father had borrowed from all the neighbors, and the money given from my younger brother who worked hauling cement in the construction and burnt his back, I finally got to the third year (at university). One day, I was studying in my room when my roommate came and said, "There is a village guy waiting for you out there!" I'm wondering why is there a village guy looking for me? I walked out, and saw my younger brother from a distance, his whole body covered up with dirty cement, dust and sand.

I asked him, "Why didn't you tell my roommate that you're my brother?"

He replied with smile, "See how I look? What will they think if they knew I'm your brother? Won't they laugh at you?" I felt so sad and tears fell down on my face. I swept the dust from my younger brother and deliberately told him, "I don't care what people say! You are my brother! You are still my younger brother no matter how you look.. " Then he took out a butterfly hair-pin form his pocket. He put it on my hair and said, "I see all the girls in the city use this. So, I think you also need to have one." I could not stand any longer. I dragged him tight in my arms and cried again and again. That time he was 20. And I was 23.

The first time I took my boyfriend home, the broken glass windows had been replaced, and everywhere in the house looked very clean. After my boyfriend left the house, I danced like a small girl in front of my mother. "Mom, you don't have to spend so much time to clean our house!" But she just smiled and said, "That was your brother. He came arly to clean the house. Didn't you see the wounds on his hands? He was injured when replacing a new window.. "

I went to my brother's small room. Looking at his skinny face was hurting me badly. I put some cream to his injured hands and wrapped it. "Does it hurt?" I asked him. "No, It doesn't hurt me. You know, when I worked at the construction, the stones kept falling down on my feet. That wouldn't stop me from working.." He stopped his words in the middle. I turned my body so he couldn't see the tears falling down on my face again. That year, my brother was 23. And I was 26.

When I got married, I live in the city. My husband and I had invited my parents to live with us, but they did not like it. They said, once leaving the village, they didn't have anything to do. My younger brother also did not agree. He said, "Sister, just take care of your Parents in-law. I will take care of our parents here."

My husband became the director in his factory. We wanted my younger brother to be the manager in the maintenance department. But he rejected. He insisted to work as a labor worker. One day, my brother was ordered to fix an electricity cable. Unfortunately, he got the electric shock and had to go to the hospital. My husband and I went to see him. Seeing the white plaster cast on his feet, I muttered, "Why did you refuse to become a manager? Manager will never have to do something dangerous like this. See yourself now with those serious injuries. Why didn't you hear us before?"

With a serious looked on his face, he will defend himself, "Think about my borther in-law! He just became a director, and I'm not really educated. If I just become a manager like that, what kind of rumors people will think about him?" My husband eyes full with tears. Then I sobingly said "But you didn't get proper education because of me!"

"Why do you have to talk about the past?" My younger brother holded my hands. That year he was 26 and I was 29.

My brother was 30 when he married a farmer girl from the village. In his wedding, the MC asked him a question, "Who do you respect and love the most in your life?"

Without even thinking, he said, "My sister." He continued to retell the story that I couldn't even remember. "When I went to Elementary School, we went to different district. My sister and I had to walk two hours to School and then go back home again every day. One day, I lost one of my gloves. My sister gave me one of her gloves. She only used one glove for the whole trip. When we arrived at home, her hands always trembling because the weather was very cold outside until she couldn't even hold her chopsticks. Since that day, I swear as long as I still alive, I will take care of her and treat her well."

Big applause overwhelmed the whole room. All guests turned their attention to me. Words were so difficult to say out of my lips, "In my life, the person that I'm grateful the most is my younger brother." And in this most grateful opportunity, in front of all the guests, tears were streaming down from my face just like a river.


This story has really touched my heart. Haven't you guys realized that sometimes you give other people more attention and cares than to your own siblings? I know I haven't done much to my siblings. But if I can do anything, I will do it just to make my siblings happy. I wanna show them how much I love them and I want all the best for them.

Chapter 11: Facing The Challenges

Hi all..

This time I want to write about something that bothering my head quite lately. Everybody needs to make a difference, or what I say here facing the challenges. But it is not as easy as I say it. Facing challenges and making differences are difficult. I remember my friend, QT, said that changes are interesting. He said, you can have something new, something you never have before either in terms of friends, experiences and so on. But, don't forget about one thing; once you face a new change it means that you have to leave your old "comfortable-zone". And leaving something you already feel comfortable and love so much is hard. Very hard.

Just take the first sample when my grandma died. I felt so empty. There was something missing. The fact that I couldn't be there for her funeral because I have study here, and the fact that, after this everything's gonna change. I keep reminding myself that I won't see her face again. I cannot hug her again. I try to remember what was the last thing she said to me. Worse, I forgot. But I always remember the things she always told me to do; find a nice guy to get married with, and never eat a lot of rice. Yes, my grandma's cool. She always told me not to eat a lot of rice. A girl has to have a nice body. I think most of other grandma will just let you eat as much as she can give you, but it won't happen with my grandma. Anyway, it was so bad when we had our last Eid. Grandma wasn't there. See, sometimes changes make you feel bad. I was trying to be in my mom position. If I was the one who has to loose my mom, I don't think I'll be as though as her.

Sooner, I have to make another changes. I have to face another challenges. I'm studying here in UUM approximately two and half years now. Trust me, everybody in UUM, they all say "I wanna go out from this jungle as soon as possible", and that what I said too. But once you find new best friends, making a lot of memorable experiences together, just like me, you will feel like you wanna stay here longer. You don't wanna loose them. That's what in front of me now.

Next semester will be my last semester (inshaallah). And after that either I like it or not, I have to move out from this jungle. The monkeys will be so sad not seeing me anymore or stealing my foods. Serious, I know QT's right, what facing me out there maybe will be something more interesting. I'll have my practicum, meeting new people, having new environments and all. But how about my life previously and presently. Here I mean my best friends. Those people I love. I already get used to be with them. I always having them around when I'm happy and sad. They are there for me. If I have to move to the new environment, where can I find them?

I won't have Muna there to punch my head and keep reminding her that's a taboo thing to do. I cannot call Amber and tell her there's a guy kissing me because she'll be far away in Dubai, and like I cannot spend my money for phone credits. Doh. I won't have Samar sleeping next to me anymore. I cannot ask Fatima to cook for me when I'm hungry but I don't have money to buy my own food or I just find a reason to make her cook for me, hehe. I won't have Zida telling me to be feminim and all. I cannot have QT who knows me better than I thought and always know what I'm thinking. And I won't have Ibro sitting next to me and boycot my laptop or keep asking for food. I will miss his sweetness.

Can you see that, I'm gonna miss all of those stuff. Now you know why, sometimes, I don't like facing challenges. It wasn't cool at all to be far away from your best friends. I hate it. But now, what can I do?? I mean, I need to find something that won't make me feel so sad. I still have 6 months to go before I fight.

Wish me luck, people!