Miss Shmily's Thoughts!

A story about him

2009-02-28T12:52:00.002+08:00

Something that seems so impossible can be absolutely possible if you really believe in it.

I never believe to have a feeling with someone I met in cyberspace. Someone who's for sure, I never knew before, I don't have any idea about him at all. Yes, I heard some experiences from my friends who got boyfriend from the internet and they meet up and hook up and be like a normal couple for a very long time. But that was just a crazy idea that I never thought would ever, once again - EVER, happen to me. But it does.

Since the first time we chatted, I feel so click with him. I don't know why. Okay, tell you the truth, I don't like talking with a stranger in cyber world with an exception that she's a girl or he's handsome. Yeah. I'm picky, ugly people is out of my way! Heheh.. Anyway, we just talked and talked like we're an old friend. Like, I don't know, I feel like, we're just connected. He's there for me. Especially when I remembered how down my feeling was that time, and suddenly someone came and just turned my mood better.

He's my twin. He's sweet. He's bad. He's different. He's complicated. He's there. He's adorable. He's impossible. He's sensitive. He's a dreamer. He's for good. And above all, he's mine. That's turn him to be possible. I would sit longer than I used to do just staring at my lappy and waiting for him to chatt with him. Sharing the things that I can't even share it with my best friends. I don't know why I trust him. Maybe because I don't know him at all and I feel like my secret will be safe with him? I have no idea at all.

I decided to meet him, for the first time in my life. I did another unimaginable thing. Me?? Meeting up with a stranger? Someone I just knew from Facebook? Crazy? I was. Out of my mind? I did. But I believe in myself. I had a very strong feeling that I wanna meet him. I wanna see him. I wanna know about him more. I believe in him, somehow. Then, we were there. See each other for the first time. Eveerything went as nice as it should be. But, no further move. I knew it, he knew it. Something very special doesn't go so fast or it won't be special at all.

A few days of meeting him bring me to another world. I miss him? Yes, I absolutely do! But what is this feeling inside? Love? Okay, I don't think so. I know it's not love? Then I realize.. a crush? Maybe I am. Suddenly I have a faith on him. Or I shouldn't? That's what he's gonna advice me. Don't trust him. Don't give him faith. But, it's my life. I do what I wanna do. I wanna take the chance. And, he's gonna say; up to you :D

Things have changed a little bit once I know that he introduces me as his girlfriend. I mean, wow. Since when? He never officially asked me. But, okay I don't mind with it. Then, I can't help it so I asked him. Anyway, the point is, we are couple. Then this is where I start the issue.

He has his past. He left some stories that he hasn't finished yet, or maybe he did but he forgot to close the book and put it in the rack. He must through a lot. He does, maybe, open his door for me. But he's not yet, I believe, opening his heart for me. He let me to his life, but I can't enjoy the time he gives me, yet. It makes me sad? I guess so. But no matter what, it's his life. He should make the best decision for himself. He has to stand up for what he wants, what he needs.

Sometimes, it hurts me when I have to compete with his past. Something that doesn't exist in his present life, but he keeps turning back and look at the past. How can I compete with something that is so invisible and unreachable? What should I do?

Chapter 14: THE 4 WIVES!

2008-11-09T00:35:00.006+08:00

One of another short story I got randomly.. Hope you guys enjoy it!

::THE 4 WIVES::

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our live:

a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure. Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. perhaps it's a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather that to wait until we're on our deathbed to lament.

Chapter 13: Dedicated to my beloved Mother!

2008-11-07T20:10:00.013+08:00

My mom is a never ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. - Graycie Harmon

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. - Rajneesh

There is no velvet so soft as a mother's lap, no rose as lovely as her smile, no path so flowery as that imprinted with her footsteps. - Archibald Thompson

Those were just some pearl words about mother. This time I'd like to dedicate my writing for my lovely mom, who's also having her 45th Birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUNDA*!!!!!
PS: *Bunda is mother in Indonesian language.

Early of this month I already thought of my mom's birthday. But sadly, I kinda forget which day is her birthday :D (yeah, I know.. some of you might think I'm such a bad daughter, but hey at least I don't forget it at all!). Then I SMS my sister, asked her which day is our mom's birthday because I kinda confused among 4 or 6 or 7, then she said it's on 7. I directly wrote in my calendar "BUNDA'S BIRTHDAY" on the 7th of November.

And today, I called her and wished her Happy Birthday. But wait a second, it wasn't an easy task to call my mom. First; she's using CDMA which so damn difficult for international number to either call or SMS. I tried to SMS but I know it such a waste of credit, my mom would never receive the SMS. Then I tried to call her since the morning, but the operator keep saying "The number you're calling-" then khalaz, I just canceled it. Then I tried again, and my lucky time was in the afternoon. Finally it connected. I talked to my mom! Soo soo happy. She said she was waiting for my call since the morning and she thought I didn't have credit to call her and then I explained her everything. I also told her that me and my siblings already bought her a present and would give it to her once she gets back to Jakarta. I didn't tell her what it is because later on I found that my siblings alrealy planned to make this birthday gift as a surprise but then I told mom that we bought her something :D (Hahah, I'm a spoiler!).

Okay, continue..
The point of my writing this time is not only about her special birthday. I want to share to all of you guys how much I love my mom and how wonderful she is. I'm sure, all of you guys also have the greatest mother ever! So, let's share!

One of the best thing about my mom is her love to children. Here I'm saying not only about her own children but any other children. I'm the only child from her first marriage. My dad died a few months after I was born. I never knew my father's face. But, it doesn't matter. I think my mom is a though woman. She was left by a lovely husband and has to take care of me who was still a baby that time just by herself. You could imagine her position that time, very sad and down but at the same time she can't just give up with life like that especially after she has me. Then she told herself that she didn't wanna get married anymore, at least for a very long time, and she just wanted to rise me up and give all her best for me. But God has another plan for her.

I was two years old when my step dad (my dad now and forever) came and purposed her. She was thinking of rejecting him, not only because she had promised herself not to get married anymore for a long time and also the fact that my dad that time had not have job yet. He had, but mom's job was far away better than him. But she thought twice right after my dad brought lil two years old Stevo with lil one year old Nusi. My step dad has two failure marriage before (read: divorce). I never blame my dad for marrying such an evil step mothers (ops, sorry) but I know how wise and respectful my dad is. Anyway, you can also imagine that time, my dad without wife had to carelessly take care of two lil cute kids. Mom said, the first time she saw Stevo and Nusi, they were so cute and innocent. But you could tell that no one take care of them. Their face were dirty, their hairs were messy, their clothes were untidy. She couldn't blame my father either, because he was busy looking for a job and struggling for his family. Then, that was the first reason why mom accepted my dad, it was because the kids; Stevo and Nusi; my brother and sister. She also thought I need a father however great her treatment for me is, she knows that a figure of father is important for me. And another thing is, my dad is a good guy after all.

I never realized that I have step siblings. I feel like they're my real siblings although we have different birth mother and father. But I never feel such a different. Yes, our faces are obviously different, but deep inside me, I never feel the differences. They're there in my life, like, forever and ever! Yes, sometimes I cannot lie to myself. Sometimes I imagine if my mom never accepted my dad, Mom will only give her love to me. Everybody loves me and I don't have to share their love with my siblings. But if that was what happened, then I'd never know how it feels to have siblings, I would never know how it feels to have a father, and afterall I would never know what would happen to those two lil cute kids if my mom never said yes. No one would take care of them and I'd never dare to imagine what will happen to them right at this moment if it's not because of my mom's love. They might not have education, they might get the worst step mother ever, they might be some criminals there on the streets begging for money, or the worst you can ever imagine. I thank God I have such a wonderful mother. She never really think of herself. She just think about these lil kids' life and my life.

My mom has another two kids from her second marriage. Which means all of us now become five :D Me, the only kid suddenly have 4 siblings?? That's what we call the greatest thing ever! Heheh. A lot of people keep saying that they don't wanna have too many kids. It will give you a lot of trouble! But my parents keep saying that having lot of kids gives you more glory and happiness, and that's true. One of the happiness in my family is, no other than, of course, a new baby. Her name is Andin. Wait, let me tell you about my little angel. She's not coming to this world from my mom's, no. We adopted her. Right exactly 10 days after she was born. My mom, as usual, decided to save this little baby's life. I never knew who's her real parents but I don't mind, she's my sister now and none of you can try to harm her! My parents' story was, Andin's parents cannot afford her future. They're very poor. Mom volunteered herself to raise her up and give her education. She made some agreement with the family that they cannot see Andin until she's grown up and can decide which the best for her and for both of her family. And I can assure that all of us in the family love her very much. We give her too much love and she becomes a little bit spoiled, heheh. We just want all the best for her. My grandparents used to comment the first time they knew my mom took another kid. They thought that we cannot really afford her, but we can always show people that God will always help you in return if you help others.

I would like to thank God for the best mother ever! I would like to thank my mom for the best family ever! I might not give her more yet, and I know I could never give her more than what she has given me. But I promise myself to give all the best that I can give only for my Mom.

Love you Bunda...

Chapter 12: I Cried for My Brother 6 Times

2008-10-29T12:10:00.005+08:00

This is a story I got from one of the milis. Hope you guys enjoy it.

I CRIED FOR MY BROTHER SIX TIMES

I was born in a very remote mountain village. Day by day, my parents plowed a dry yellow soil with their backs facing the sunny light. I have a brother, three years younger than me.

Once upon a time, I wanted to buy a handkerchief like all the girls around me. For that, I had to steal fifty cents from my father's drawer. Father immediately realized it. He makes my younger brother and I kneeld in front of the wall, with a bamboo stick in his hand.

"Who stole the money?" He said. I glued, too afraid to speak. The father did not hear anyone's confession, so he said, "OK, if so, both of you will be punished!" He raised the bamboo very high.

Suddenly, my younger brother griped my father's hands and said, "Father, I was the one who did it!" That long stick strike hard on my brother's back many times. Father was very angry so he continuously strike him with a whip until he ran out of breath. Then, he sat on the bed brick and scolded us, "If you learn to steal from the house now, what are other shameful things that you will do in the future? You deserved to be punished until you die! You ungrateful thief!"

That night, my mother and I hug my brother tightly. His body full with injuries, but he did not shed any tears. In the middle of the night, I suddenly began to cry so hard. My younger brother closed my mouth with his small hands and said, "Don't cry sister. Everything is already happened. "

I always hate myself because of not having enough encouragement to go admitting my own fault. Many years had passed, but such things still seemed just like yesterday. I will never forget my younger brother when he protected me. That time, my younger brother was 8 years old. And I was 11.

When my younger brother finished his final year in Junior High School, he was early accepted in one of the district High School. At the same time, I was also accepted in the university. That night, my father was sitting on the branch and smoked his cigarette, one and more. I heard him muttering something to my mother, "Both of our children has given good result in school. Very very good ..."

My mother whipped her tears and took a deep breath, "What's the point? How can we afford paying for both of them? " Exactly after that, my brother walked into my father and said, "Father, I don't want to continue my study. I already read too many books."

My father raised his hand and slapped my brother right on the face. "Why do you have a very weak soul? Even if I have to beg in the street I will send both of you to school! "And so then he knocked every house in the village to borrow some money. I touched my brother face gently and said, "A young man have to continue his education, if not he will never leave this poverty." I, on the other side, had decided not to continue my study to university.

No one could guess that the next day, before the dawn came, my younger brother left the house with several pieces of clothing worn and some dry beans. He was sneaking around next to the side of my bed and left a piece of paper on my pillow: "Sister, to enter university is not easy. I will go and find work to send you money." I hold the paper tightly and cried with tears streaming down and my voice had gone. That year, my younger brother was 17 years. And I was 20.

With the money my father had borrowed from all the neighbors, and the money given from my younger brother who worked hauling cement in the construction and burnt his back, I finally got to the third year (at university). One day, I was studying in my room when my roommate came and said, "There is a village guy waiting for you out there!" I'm wondering why is there a village guy looking for me? I walked out, and saw my younger brother from a distance, his whole body covered up with dirty cement, dust and sand.

I asked him, "Why didn't you tell my roommate that you're my brother?"

He replied with smile, "See how I look? What will they think if they knew I'm your brother? Won't they laugh at you?" I felt so sad and tears fell down on my face. I swept the dust from my younger brother and deliberately told him, "I don't care what people say! You are my brother! You are still my younger brother no matter how you look.. " Then he took out a butterfly hair-pin form his pocket. He put it on my hair and said, "I see all the girls in the city use this. So, I think you also need to have one." I could not stand any longer. I dragged him tight in my arms and cried again and again. That time he was 20. And I was 23.

The first time I took my boyfriend home, the broken glass windows had been replaced, and everywhere in the house looked very clean. After my boyfriend left the house, I danced like a small girl in front of my mother. "Mom, you don't have to spend so much time to clean our house!" But she just smiled and said, "That was your brother. He came arly to clean the house. Didn't you see the wounds on his hands? He was injured when replacing a new window.. "

I went to my brother's small room. Looking at his skinny face was hurting me badly. I put some cream to his injured hands and wrapped it. "Does it hurt?" I asked him. "No, It doesn't hurt me. You know, when I worked at the construction, the stones kept falling down on my feet. That wouldn't stop me from working.." He stopped his words in the middle. I turned my body so he couldn't see the tears falling down on my face again. That year, my brother was 23. And I was 26.

When I got married, I live in the city. My husband and I had invited my parents to live with us, but they did not like it. They said, once leaving the village, they didn't have anything to do. My younger brother also did not agree. He said, "Sister, just take care of your Parents in-law. I will take care of our parents here."

My husband became the director in his factory. We wanted my younger brother to be the manager in the maintenance department. But he rejected. He insisted to work as a labor worker. One day, my brother was ordered to fix an electricity cable. Unfortunately, he got the electric shock and had to go to the hospital. My husband and I went to see him. Seeing the white plaster cast on his feet, I muttered, "Why did you refuse to become a manager? Manager will never have to do something dangerous like this. See yourself now with those serious injuries. Why didn't you hear us before?"

With a serious looked on his face, he will defend himself, "Think about my borther in-law! He just became a director, and I'm not really educated. If I just become a manager like that, what kind of rumors people will think about him?" My husband eyes full with tears. Then I sobingly said "But you didn't get proper education because of me!"

"Why do you have to talk about the past?" My younger brother holded my hands. That year he was 26 and I was 29.

My brother was 30 when he married a farmer girl from the village. In his wedding, the MC asked him a question, "Who do you respect and love the most in your life?"

Without even thinking, he said, "My sister." He continued to retell the story that I couldn't even remember. "When I went to Elementary School, we went to different district. My sister and I had to walk two hours to School and then go back home again every day. One day, I lost one of my gloves. My sister gave me one of her gloves. She only used one glove for the whole trip. When we arrived at home, her hands always trembling because the weather was very cold outside until she couldn't even hold her chopsticks. Since that day, I swear as long as I still alive, I will take care of her and treat her well."

Big applause overwhelmed the whole room. All guests turned their attention to me. Words were so difficult to say out of my lips, "In my life, the person that I'm grateful the most is my younger brother." And in this most grateful opportunity, in front of all the guests, tears were streaming down from my face just like a river.

This story has really touched my heart. Haven't you guys realized that sometimes you give other people more attention and cares than to your own siblings? I know I haven't done much to my siblings. But if I can do anything, I will do it just to make my siblings happy. I wanna show them how much I love them and I want all the best for them.

Chapter 11: Facing The Challenges

2008-10-26T19:48:00.003+08:00

Hi all..

This time I want to write about something that bothering my head quite lately. Everybody needs to make a difference, or what I say here facing the challenges. But it is not as easy as I say it. Facing challenges and making differences are difficult. I remember my friend, QT, said that changes are interesting. He said, you can have something new, something you never have before either in terms of friends, experiences and so on. But, don't forget about one thing; once you face a new change it means that you have to leave your old "comfortable-zone". And leaving something you already feel comfortable and love so much is hard. Very hard.

Just take the first sample when my grandma died. I felt so empty. There was something missing. The fact that I couldn't be there for her funeral because I have study here, and the fact that, after this everything's gonna change. I keep reminding myself that I won't see her face again. I cannot hug her again. I try to remember what was the last thing she said to me. Worse, I forgot. But I always remember the things she always told me to do; find a nice guy to get married with, and never eat a lot of rice. Yes, my grandma's cool. She always told me not to eat a lot of rice. A girl has to have a nice body. I think most of other grandma will just let you eat as much as she can give you, but it won't happen with my grandma. Anyway, it was so bad when we had our last Eid. Grandma wasn't there. See, sometimes changes make you feel bad. I was trying to be in my mom position. If I was the one who has to loose my mom, I don't think I'll be as though as her.

Sooner, I have to make another changes. I have to face another challenges. I'm studying here in UUM approximately two and half years now. Trust me, everybody in UUM, they all say "I wanna go out from this jungle as soon as possible", and that what I said too. But once you find new best friends, making a lot of memorable experiences together, just like me, you will feel like you wanna stay here longer. You don't wanna loose them. That's what in front of me now.

Next semester will be my last semester (inshaallah). And after that either I like it or not, I have to move out from this jungle. The monkeys will be so sad not seeing me anymore or stealing my foods. Serious, I know QT's right, what facing me out there maybe will be something more interesting. I'll have my practicum, meeting new people, having new environments and all. But how about my life previously and presently. Here I mean my best friends. Those people I love. I already get used to be with them. I always having them around when I'm happy and sad. They are there for me. If I have to move to the new environment, where can I find them?

I won't have Muna there to punch my head and keep reminding her that's a taboo thing to do. I cannot call Amber and tell her there's a guy kissing me because she'll be far away in Dubai, and like I cannot spend my money for phone credits. Doh. I won't have Samar sleeping next to me anymore. I cannot ask Fatima to cook for me when I'm hungry but I don't have money to buy my own food or I just find a reason to make her cook for me, hehe. I won't have Zida telling me to be feminim and all. I cannot have QT who knows me better than I thought and always know what I'm thinking. And I won't have Ibro sitting next to me and boycot my laptop or keep asking for food. I will miss his sweetness.

Can you see that, I'm gonna miss all of those stuff. Now you know why, sometimes, I don't like facing challenges. It wasn't cool at all to be far away from your best friends. I hate it. But now, what can I do?? I mean, I need to find something that won't make me feel so sad. I still have 6 months to go before I fight.

Wish me luck, people!

Chapter 10: A story for you

2008-10-24T12:23:00.000+08:00

I'm kinda busy preparing my final exams and then I told myself I won't write in this blog until, at least, I finished my toughest paper. Turned out now I can't. I need to write about this story.

I met a new friend in Facebook. Just call her Mrs. A. Yes, she's married. She's an Indonesian who had worked in Malaysia as a house-maid for almost 8years (including those when she sent to Japan and Dubai). But that wasn't the thing I wanna share. I found out that she's now a lucky woman who married a Germany and has a very cute son aged 3yr old. It is true that being a labor-workers in Malaysia is very though especially for Indonesian. More specify for those who work as house-maid. You can never expected what kind of treatment your master will give you. Thay might have title "Tengku" or "Datin" but the way they treat these workers just as low as their brain on their knees! I'm not trying to be mean but that's the truth. And I'm not saying that all of these people are bad, no. Some I know they're very nice and they treat these Indonesian workers just as a family.

Maybe all of you already know that there are alot of cases aboout this. But those cases are only less than few who are not being exposed. There are more and more cases about abusement towards Indonesian workers here. But no one can be blamed. Those workers are damn scared to report their master's treatment in case they won't get any job or worse go to the jail. One case where the house-maid has to do overtime works, wake up early in the morning and sleep after midnight. She got injured everywhere in her body. She couldn't do anything. She couldn't ask for help. Her master and mistress had her passport, and if she tried to run away she would be caught by the police and thrown to the jail. And her master kept saying that if she tried to escape they'd make sure she'd die. OMG, is that a human? But luckily, there was this one chance after the whole 2years working and waiting, she could run away from the house. She prefered to take a risk being caught by the police better that she had to work under such a treatment like that. God helped her, she met a nice old man in the street who then helped her out of trouble. He brought her to his house and helped her report her case to the police. Her old masters were caught, damn yeah they deserved it, and she continued working with that old man family. His family treated her very well. Until she felt like she had enough working then she got back to Indonesia and met her family again.

It was just one lucky case, although the beginning of the case wasn't lucky at all. I mean, being tortured the whole time by someone who has no heart at all, doh. But what about those illegal workers?? They come here and treat even badly and if you know that some of them just so young but they're not lucky enough to help themselves. Some of them are forced to be prostitute, some the same like the previous case, has to work with an evil master. What should we do??

Back to my friend story.. She's this kind of tough woman who has the willing to work hard and believe in yourself. Thank you so much for your inspiration, Mrs. A! She said she also got the same treatment when she worked in Malaysia. She got, like what she said, the worst mistress ever. Her master is a Tungku, but his wife is damn evil. She treated her like a dog. But, this is what I like, she stayed. She stayed for her 2years contract. She stayed and kept the hard working for two years. yes, she knew it was hard especially when you have to work very hard under pressure and violence. But she stayed. She got new masters who brought her to Japan and Dubai, and she proved herself to be trust-worthy and har-working. She never gives up. That's what I like about her the most. She said, if you believe in yourself there'll always ways for a greater good. And, I believe on that too. Once she got back to Malaysia again she met this Germany guy who porposed her. I asked her why you married him? I mean, for me, being porposed by someone I don't really know his whereabout is a serious thing. You cannot just take everything so easy. But here is where I put a high on her. She believed that it's her destiny. She has to make a decision.

She knows that she's coming from a poor family. She was trying her luck working overseas just to get a better life. Then someone asked to marry her and bring her to German, she said it's her destiny. She needs to decide what the best for herself. She accepted this guy, married him, and now has a son. She is happy. That cannot be denied. And she's lucky, that's the most important thing. Once she's in German and has her own family, she started to learn German language. She can give her family in Indonesia allowance that sooner bring them to a better life. She helps alot of people after that. Can you see that now? A normal and simple worker from Indonesia, tried her luck, risked her life working with such a bad environment is now being a happy mother with a nice life and family. She brings more than enough to her family in Indonesia whom, for sure, need the money the most.

Being Mrs. A new friend is also an interesting experience for me. She gives me support. She gives me inspirations. No matter what you do, you have to believe in yourself. Believe that everything's gonna be okay and better as long as you work hard and never give up.

PS: Vielen Dank dafür, dass mein Freund.
Es ist eine schöne Erfahrung zu wissen, dass Sie als Person.
Ich hoffe, dass diese Freundschaft ewig.

Chapter 9: What makes people changed

2008-10-15T02:03:00.009+08:00

I like seeing people's pictures.

For me, it likes reading a history book. A lot of people likes posting their pictures online, including me, yes that's right. And most of them are not only posting their new pictures but also their old ones. I have many friends, or I can say I know them but they're not my friends. Anyway, when I was looking at their pictures, I always think how time has changed them. They are totally different from what they used to be. I am not only talking about their style, of course it would be different. But the decision they made to change themselves, it was a big deal. Overall, it makes me think of myself too. I have changed from the way I used to be. I AM a different person now. But I can't never judge how "far" my changes are. By seeing those pictures of my friends and the changes in their life, I thank God that my changes are not guiding me to failure. I hope so.

Back to main story. I can never guess, or maybe I don't really try looking for the answers, but I don't know exactly what makes people changed their life. Time? Peers? Family? Whom to ask? And whom to blame? No one to ask but the person itself who might not even know what have changed them. I cannot blame anyone for nothing either. But sometimes I make my own "research" and "conclusion" which sometimes they are reasonable. For example; just call her Miss Flirt. I saw from her high school pictures and comments from her friends and teachers about how religious she is, always got back home directly after school and always obey her parents rules. You can tell that her friends are 98% female. Looking at the way she dress, so polite; huge dress and big scarfs. Now when she's far away from her family and study in university, she has changed. She knows how to dress trendy, and no more big scarfs. And the thing that quite shocking me out was her relationship with guys. I mean, WOW, she has a very long lists. What I observed, she never really has "free-time" hanged out with her guy friends while she was still in high school and her parents still can control her closely. Other thing, her brother is very protective, I don't know why. But I think there's some rule about no guy friend for her or something. Even it is very difficult for a guy to ask her out. They have to pick her up first and meet her parents (read: little interview with them). And then suddenly she has this freedom. And she uses it very well.

Another example; call her Miss Petite. She is so pretty, smart, and she has her needs (read: car and big allowance from her parents). Everybody loves her because she's this kind of innocent and kind person whom you never think badly about. Until finally she found her first love which turned to be her forever disaster. Since she has relationship with this only one guy in her life (she never ever has boyfriend before, as a record) she was totally changed. She lied with her family about her whereabouts. She didn't spend her time with her friends anymore or even when she finally in trouble she was too shy asking for help because she didn't even remember them when she was happy. My questions; how could she change? What made her change? And it wasn't a good change at all. Until suddenly she got pregnant before marriage. Nothing she can do but getting married with her forever boyfriend which now is her husband, has her own baby, and worst of all she has to lost almost everything she has dreamt for; education, teenage life, and other opportunities. You have to see her mom, she still can't accept it. She is even feel more sad than her. Yes, of course. Whose mother can stand in front of people who's talking about her daughter getting pregnant outside marriage?? Sometimes when you changed it's not only affecting you as a personal but also other people around you.

But doesn't mean that those are only bad changes. No. There are more good changes happened in this life. Just take Mr. Black as an example. You can say, he's the naughtiest kid you have ever met! Never ever think that you will escape from his little evil trick which can turn you into deep hatred. He was a perfect liar. And, above all he's a genius. No one can ever think of the way to make him become a good person. No one. Until one day, he told his parents that he wanted to go to Islamic School and further his study there. He was still young and very naughty that time but he suddenly decided to be a good person? So sudden?? Without no one knows why. Without him telling people why. But he did it. He studied in that Islamic boarding school which some low-minded parents called "prison" and in just a year after, you see a good boy with a pure heart and wonderful attitude. You never can imagine that he used to manipulate his own parents just to get what he wanted. He is now the best example in his family.

I always want to know what makes people change. Okay, let me tell you my dirty little secret, actually it's almost like a hobby. I like stalking on people. Alright, alright. I know it's not good and Samar keeps telling me not to stalk on our neighbors but I like it. Now she kinda likes it too. Haha. Okay, the point is. I don't interrupt people business, no I don't like that. I just like "observing the life", observing the people. Some of them, I swear, has given me a good example and I follow it. Some of bad examples, I used it as a reminder to myself not to do it. By knowing other people experience I learn a lot about life, friendship, love, self-achievement, and power. People become successful, two persons fall in love, betrayal in friendship. Those things happen in this world and I'd love to know why is it happened.

Above all, I know that people changed for many resons. But whatever the reasons are, their background and life in the past have given them big effect to the changes they have now. Either it's worse or better, I still can find something to learn. And in the end, it will turn me to become a better person. And maybe you too.

Chapter 8: What Can Movies Bring to Your Life?

2008-10-13T16:51:00.007+08:00

I love watching movies. Yes, I can lie about that. If I can't stop myself I'll download movies everytime I can. Even until now, I save some movies which I haven't seen them yet. Then again, I sometimes still download another new movies. But this is not what I wanna talk about.

When you watch movies, sometimes it gives you effects, inspirations and lessons. It might be good, it might be bad. And sometimes you feel how great the movie is so you feel like you are in it or you wanna try to be like it.

Overall, it is happened to me.

Just say, okay many people knows that I am a Potter-head. I love Harry Potter so much. But not many people knows that I start liking Harry Potter by watching the movie first. It was the firs movie; Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone. By that time, the book was already in the process of launching the fourth one; Harry potter and The Goblet of Fire. I was kinda late for loving Harry Potter, but late better than never. I was watching it like, OMG what a magic! I feel like I wanna know how to do the magic! All of those charms; alohomora and wingardium leviosa, I got them! Haha, I wish I have my own wand; just like Harry with Phoenix hair. Just a dream. Yeah, I know. But isn't it amazing if you can fly with a broom, have your own shorting hat, put in one of the Houses and study in a big castle??

It was quite the same with The Lord of The Rings, oh yeah I love the movies! TLoTR movies are way better than Harry Potter, I have to agree with that. The costumes, music, cinematography. I wish I stay in Yorkshire with all of the nice Hobbits. Frodo will be on my list for a boyfriend, haha.

I like movies about music, dance and explosions :D Movies about musics like; The Sounds of Music (yeah it's old but I LOVE IT!), Music and Lyrics, Moulin Rouge (this one mix with dance and opera, so GREAT!). Movies about dance like Central Stage (maybe not many knows about this. But it's about ballet, and since then I wanna be a ballerina but, I don't have the body-type *sobs*), Bring It On (which girl doesn't wanna try to be a cheerleader?? With sexy mini skirt and cute guys always around?? However, these movies like Step Up, Dirty Dancing, and Save The Last Dance have made me love and want to do dance again and again.

Next, drama. Ugh, cannot skip this one out. A Walk to Remember; since I watched it I have the same wish as Jamie, that is get married. Oh ya, you may laugh, but isn't it sweet?? Million Dollar Baby. Well, I don't know whether it's right to put it in drama section or not, but so far this movie succeed in making me cry. Titanic; man, everybody watch Titanic, don't tell me some of you don't. Please. Children's Heaven; a story about brother and sister. Huaaa, I just realize that most of my favorite drama movies are crying-maker. hahaha. As I know these are some of my lists; The Notebook, Life is Beautiful, Romeo and Juliet, and The Holiday. I love it. I love it! Thing I can learn from all of those drama movies is only one; learn how to love and be loved.

But I didn't say that they were all I like about drama movies. I also like normal drama teen-movies, thriller, and just as long as you don't give me horror, I will watch it. FYI, I HATE horror movies! No matter how people say not scary the movie is. But scary here means ghost. I hate movies about ghosts! Monster is okay, their appearance is so fake. Ummm, not with Chucky! Oh, that doll! How come they abuse a doll?? I ask you?? Since then I never let mom buy me any human doll, just animals. See how movies can affect your life? haha. I like Jodie Foster's movie such as Flight Plan (yeah it was interesting). Butterfly Effect; crazy, that's it. The Illusionist; genious, that's true. The Terminal; perfect, nothing else. The Da Vinci Code; can they make me at least not opening my mouth while I'm watching it because I just can't believe how smart those people behind the movie are, and Mr. Brown himself, I'm your big fan! 21; my problem is if only I knew how to play cards.

Teen movies, I named it; 10 Things I Hate About You, She's All That, Freaky Friday, A Cinderella Story, Mean Girls, and Never Been Kissed. Most of them are movies in 1999 and early 2000. But I still like watching it. So enjoyable! You feel like you wanna go back to those High School time and having fun with your friends, remembering your graduation and Prom Night day. I also like movies with historical background. The movie might not about history, that want no one wanna watch it including me *doh* but movies like drama but they have historical hints like Hotel Rwanda, Pearl Harbor, and Blood Diamond.

I wanna learn Kung Fu since I watched, wait not Kung Fu Panda (even though everybody loves it as much as I do), but since I watched Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, I joined Tae Kwon Do. I know, it is not Kung Fu. But my school didn't have kung fu curriculum. Then in University, I used to join Wushu club but ended up never turn in the class ever again. I'm not that kind of sporty girl. Anyway, cartoons also give big effects to me. The story, the advices given are mostly about friendship. Remember Land Before Time? Or Shark Tale; you think no one care about you when you're nothing but it's wrong. There is still someone who care about you no matter what happen to you as long as famous and glamourity don't bring you deep down to failure. Kung Fu Panda, as I told you, nothing is special, all you need to do is think that something is special. And have you ever realize that tapping dance looks cooler than singing after you watched Happy Feet? I did.

I swear to God, if I haven't stop writing, I'll put all the movies I have watched and give a great effect in my life. So how about you? Are you a movie freak? Does movie give either positive or negative effects to you?

Chapter 7: The Moffatts!

2008-10-08T21:52:00.005+08:00

Oh! You guys may not know, but let me tell you about it:

I AM STILL AND ALWAYS BE THE BIGGEST FANS OF THE MOFFATTS!

Yes! I am proud to be their fans. I'm proud and proud and proud. I am crazy about them! If they still exist until now, maybe they're the only thing that can put aside HARRY POTTER away from me for awhile! I am soooo into them!! Aaarrggghh.. I miss them so much!

Let me start my story about how I got my love-at-first-sight with The Moffatts (which a brief introduction about them I put in my second blog http://daraddicted2.blogspot.com/ names "Daraddicted Lists"). Back in 1998 or somewhere around that year, there are thousands of Boy/girl bands - well actually they didn't really play in the band - and real bands. They are group singers like Backstreetboys, Boyzone, 911, Spice Girls, B*witched, All Saints and 98 Degrees. And I still rememeber how famous Hanson and Aaron Carter that time. First, I knew exactly the one I adored the more is Aaron Carter but then there was it; I saw The Moffatts video "I'll be there for you" playing in the TV and since then I have love at the first sight with them! Then I saw more video of them and it drove me crazy even more! I mean what a cute guys they are! And they were still young that time! I was even younger but I was so crazy about them. One of my favourite song when they have collaboration with Gil Ofarim in "If you only knew", God.. please.. I remember exactly those days! Really.

Start from that, I collected every single things about The Moffatts; few cassettes and CDs, hundreds of posters, thousands of news I cut from the magazines and tabloids and newspapers, and ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I can get; pictures, bag, t-shirts. Gosh, I was The Moffatts' freak! Mom kinda worried about me. Actually she didn't really know that I spent my pocket money for those stuffs. She was mad already when she knew I adore The Moffatts. I played their songs everytime. My family, all of them, got sick of it. Hahah. It was so nice remembering those days.

*Young The Moffatts! I also have their country album! Crazy, isn't it? Me, I mean. haha.

The best things of all, I went to see them live in concert. It was the hardest dream to come true. My parents would never allow me to go to any concerts. It was quite reasonable. I was only around 12 years old that time and no one older enough to take care of me, and my parents are not this kind of concert-lover, no they hate concerts! Once, first time I went to see Gil Ofarim live in Hard Rock Cafe, my parents allowed me only because it was only in a cafe, not a big stadium or whatever, and my uncle was there, and the tickets were for free. But I was so excited I tried so hard to be in the front line (I mean, I wanted to see him closer). Then you know what will happen if you try to get the front side, everybody wants the same thing and they keep pushing you from all of sides, you can't breath, and to make it faster, I fainted. The worst thing that my parents always use to ban me from any more concert after that including The Moffatts no matter how sad I was! But I can still try my best to convince them. The second chance was Westlife concert. I don't really fancy them so I didn'r even bother to try to get a good view. I just stood in the middle with my friends and the most important thing was I got back home safely. So then my parents allow me for The Moffatts concert. I was around 14 years old that time. Best time ever!

Only few months after they have concert in Indonesia, The Moffatts dissapeared. I cannot say they broke up, because they are all brothers, you cannot use the term broke up for a family right? But that news has shocked me out! It's shoucked everybody out! They were just having their concerts and promoted new album "Submodalities" then suddenly, they don't exist anymore. Quite a few reasons coming from them. Scott wanted to have "normal" life and has his own job, Dave continued his study, while Clint and Bob still stayed in music industry. They made new band called HIDELL but that didn't give a shit because they joined woth other memebrs of their friends and their songs weren't really that outstanding like The Moffatts used to have. The Clint and Bob make their own duet band names SAME SAME which, I think still try to survive until now. Their songs, at least, have more The Moffatts' souls than Hidell.

*See, aren't they cute? Love them so much!

Long time I never heard of them anymore. But whatever happen, just let say suddenly The Moffatts is back again, I'll make sure that I'll be one of the first one to welcome them back!

Chapter 6: FRIENDSHIP

2008-10-06T17:37:00.009+08:00

STATUS: 2nd time editing.

We meet again!

Friendship. What do you guys know about "friendship"? What I know about friendship is being with Amber, Muna, Sammar, Fatima and Zida. Additionally have fun with the freakiest; QT, Ibro and Sam. Friendship for me is having them all in my life and I'm very happy with it.

Now, let me introduce them to you..

First of all, THE COMPANY!
Yeah.. We called ourselves like that. It's kinda shocking if you guys know the real meaning of "The Company". But I won't write it down here *cough* or they will kill me for selling out our secret of the secret, or whatever it is. We are all coming from different part of the world, yes we are proud of it, and we love each other just like what most sisters do. Let starts!

Start with this petite girl names AMBER. She comes from Ethiopia but she spent most of her life in Yemen. She speaks Amharic, Arabic, English and very broken Bahasa Malaysia (bwahahah, I'll run away from her now..). Anyway, she's a clever girl who always being tortured almost everytime by a Somali elephant. She knows how to choose a good dress when shopping but her only problem is shoes. It's very difficult for her to find her size. Even sometimes the kid's section doesn't have her size (this time I'll make sure I'm still alive, kkkkk). She's a nice person to talk with and never ever disturb her when she's busy doing her assignment. She'll scream like a psycho and scared everyone's out! For additional note, she's a happy single who doesn't mind welcoming any nice guy who wants to know her better. But boys, don't think it's an easy task. She likes an extraordinary guy with a nice attitude. Kick the flirting-thingy out because it doesn't work with her. Just be a mature and not so outspoken guy towards her.

By looking at her picture right here you may already guess what kind of person she is. Yup, no other than the craziest and funniest person you may ever meet! She's a Somali who stayed in UK for, like, umm, forever. Her name is MUNA. Her praying words are sh*t, f*ck, d*mn, and you named them. Hahaha. Never ever expected her to be like an angel. IT WON'T WORK! Ask her to, at least, be quite for a few second, IT WON'T HAPPEN! She talks a lot even when she's sick. She might look big but hey dude, she can shake her body like Kate Deluna in Whine Up! Cannot believe it? I don't ask you to believe it either! Hohoho. Anyway.. she's also a very nice girl. She helps people a lot and sometimes she forget to take care of herself. She's single and so far, doesn't really interested to find a boyfriend. I think she got tired of it. LOLs. She's a movie freak, just like me. She's the top score in coloring her hairs. I think she tried, umm, all the color already. haha.

Now here we come. My pretty roommate! SAMAR is her name. She comes from Yemen. And just like the others, she lived overseas more than in her own hometown. She's the only one who good in swimming among all of us. She teaches us swimming. She knows how to make your eyebrows look nice, yeah you bet she is. She's single who's not interested to look for a boyfriend but she likes having a lot of guy friends. So guys, never thinks that her treatment means she wants special relationship. You just kick your hope far away :D She hates dehbasy (all of us do tho) but she knows that someday she would marry one *giggles*. She's studying IT and hates it when I like stalking on our neighbors haha. She's a scorpion who adores and put a high opinion about the other scorpions. I don't know why. Something unique about her is when she's not in a good mood she likes rolling up. I won't get shock anymore once I found her next to the wall with her head down and legs above the air *sigh*.

Next, we have a Pakistani girl names FATIMA. Me and Muna "found" her on the street. LOLs. Yeah we did. She was new that time and she got lost, and we saved her. Haha. She might be only 21 year old but she's now having her PhD in software engineering with double Masters already in her hands. You can imagine people reaction when they heard this. Even I can close my mouth shut when I heard this. I mean, what a genius she is! I have special nickname for her; Fatumtum. She knows a lot about history and politics especially about Pakistan and India. She's my savior when the girls are in need of driver. They usually use me as their driver because I'm the only one who can drive, now since we have her I don't have to drive. Not most of the time tho because she can only drive automatic. She spends most of her time in the room. And she's online almost 24hours everyday but she often makes herself invisible. She can't stay in hot place for a very long time. She usually set on her AC below 20 degrees which sometimes I feel like I'm in the North Pole.

Our spoiler in the group. Yes she is. Why I said that? Because she's the only one who never wants to join our criminal and naughty activities, hahah. She's too nice to be an angel. Her name is OZODA and she's coming from Uzbekistan. She wants everything to be in order and goes perfectly fine. She can really manage her activities and she prepared everything well for her future plans. You can trust her for works because she is not the kind of lay back person. She likes asking me to do girly stuffs like "sit properly" and "don't bite your finger nails" haha. We all love her so much. Oh ya, one important thing is she doesn't like people advertising her picture. Like what I did this time, hope she won't kill me after she read this. Haha, peace Zida..

Next! The FREAKY FAMILY!
They are just like my brothers, also my favorite neighbors and of course, my freaky friends! They are all coming from Yemen. Do all crazy stuff that you as a girl would never imagine before. If you're nice girls, big WARNING for you, hahaha. Don't regret yourselves!

Okay, stop the nonsense. Now here we have Ismail or he'd prefer all call him SAM. The eldest from three of them. The wisest of all. But let me tell you the truth, it IS very difficult to get close with him and know him better. But once he let you know him closer, you will see a very mature man inside him. That's why it's kinda difficult to write something about him. He wants to do something not always depending on his parents, that's good. As far as I know, he's single. But the same like the other guys, he has lots of admirers. His typical girl has to be in high quality. Ordinary girl, get out of the way! He won't waste his time staring at you twice! Hahah. He likes traveling and just went to Langkawi having nice time for Eid. He likes advising me many things. Especially me to behave. Anyway, he's still as cute as Sam I know.

Move to his younger brother, I now have Ibrahim which you may call IBRO. From three of them, he's the first one I knew. We had the same family foster in Malacca. He likes anything to do with IT and sports. Many called him fisherman because he's so good at swimming. He has a good body, I used to call him "six pack" guy, hoho.. Not anymore now. I like talking with him. We usually talk about some silly and not important stuffs. Haha, I like talking to him because sometimes, I think, he was soo innocent. His respond to some issues is unique. Until now he has no girlfriend while I told him he can get it easily and long time before but he never try it. Once I asked him why you don't look for a girlfriend and really, his answer (although maybe when he answered it he didn't really mean it) has touched my heart. I won't tell you what he said here, secret. Haha. He likes studying, the things that he does better than me :D I sometimes find him reading his notes. Good guy. One other thing, he can't stay at home for long time. He likes going out and do something. He doesn't like to sleep alot and waste his time for something unimportant.

Here we are, my lovely Kutaiba or his famous name QT! Anyway, me and Samar gave that nickname *proud*. One thing I hate about him: his skinny!!! He's skinnier than me without even trying. And, he eats A LOT! He might be skinny but he dance very good.. Who doesn't know QT? Here in UUM most of the Indonesian knows him. His half-Indonesian tho. He kinda influenced me with his music taste and he likes acting like those rappers. He knows many swear words you girls won't like to hear it LOLs. Another think about him, he likes to sleep! But he barely sleep in the bed. He usually sleeps in the floor and when you ask him about this he'll say it's healthy. I never know that hurting your back is healthy, hahah ampuuun. He knows how to draw, he teaches me one day but turned out I felt asleep *snored* hahaa. His a very nice friend. He's humble and not picky. And I love him so much! Sexy girls, come in the line. Kkkkk.

That's all my writing about friendship. Those names above are the people inside my "friendship". I don't know whether they feel the same way or not. Even tho the don't I don't mind. They are still the best! Sooner we'll all separate again. We'll have our own future and God only knows what will happen. But I hope I'll still keep in touch with them all.

PS for all of them:
1. NEVER FORGET ME!
2. Come to Indonesia with me, again for the guys :D
3. If someday you guys get married, don't forget to buy me the flight ticket to your country! Bussiness class seat, and a room in the best hotel! haha.
4. Love you all.

Chapter 5: EID MUBARAK!

2008-10-06T11:29:00.010+08:00

First of all, EID MUBARAK for everybody!

I thought this Ramadhan will be the saddest Ramadhan I'd ever had because, you know, my first plan was I wouldn't go back to my hometown due to some reasons; only one week holidays, waiting-list assignments, and ticket price. I told myself that, "OK, I'll stay in the jungle and have my Eid here and everything's gonna be ok". That was kinda a lie tho. How come everything's gonna be ok when you didn't spend your Eid with your family?? I'm not saying that's really really bad tho because lot of my friends did that but, doesn't it feel there's something missing if you have Eid without your family? Yes, there is.

God heard my wishes. Just few days before the holiday my friend Novri told me that KLM round-trip ticket is very cheap and then I checked d*mn yeah, it was only RM350. I mean, compare with Airasia I could save almost RM200! And KLM is a big plane, you got food and everything. You can't compare it with Airasia. What a coincidence! I directly SMS my mom telling her how I'd feel so sad and regret myself if I didn't go back to Jakarta. I told her the ticket price is chep, even cheaper than my brother's ticket that he booked long time before! What a joyful, mom said "OK, I'll send you the money tomorrow so you can buy the ticket." I can't stop thanking God. I'll be back home soon! What a happiness!

But that doesn't stop there. I cannot really use a week holiday because I can't get the bus ticket to Kuala Lumpur. But anyway, I got it by then. I went to KL on September 27th and my flight to Jakarta was on the next day. I spent one night in Samar's house. It was a very nice experience having Ramadhan with Yemeni. I like her mom, she always cooks healthy foods. I found some strange food but I tried it and it was nice. I wanted to eat more but I was to shy haha. Her sisters were also charming. Amal is kinda quite tho. But Abeer, you can tell that she was loking for attention. She kept coming back to the room and tried to check what we did! Soo adorable!

The next day was my can't-wait day! Finally, in a few hours I could see my family again. The thing I really miss the most! I arrived in Soekarno-Hatta airport and saw Fano and Dinda waiting for me. Oh God, looked at Fano's hair! It looks like those F4 guys! So, urgh, not my type. I couldn't help myself giving him comments. So not him! And Dinda, ooh he was soo tall and skinny and darker! Then we walked to Hoka Hoka Bento for iftaar and there I saw my other family members; Dad, as wise as always, Mom as pretty as before, Nusi who still like Nusi haha, Dika with his Bob Marley's hat sooo cool, and Andin my little doll. She was so adorable! She huged and kissed me many times!

*Andin with Dika's Bob-Marley Hat.

The next day I spent most of the times in the house, making cakes and cleaning the house. I cannot meet my friends here. Not because I couldn't, I could but I prefer to spend those few days with my family. The day before Eid my family and I went to my grandfather's house. My younger cousins were all busy setting up the fire-works and lot of things, but I was busy online. Haha.

*Mom, I can make these cakes! Haha, so proud. It's tasty and lots of people like it!

EID DAY!
As always, women usually come late to the mosque. Mom, Nusi and I were busy cleaning up the house before we have the sillaturahim session. My dad and my brothers went to the mosque earlier and the got place inside the mosque but us just had to be happy to pray outside, in front of one of the local-houses. Finished praying, my family had short salam-salaman (kissing the eldery's hands and shaking hands with siblings and asked for forgiveness and saying Eid Mubarak). The thing that we waited so much is meal time! It wasn't new things but always special as it used to be. We had ketupat, lidah sapi, opor ayam, sayur, etc! Sooo delicious!

After that, we went to my grandpa's house again. It was a ritual for all the family to gather in my grandpa's house so we don't have to go around the houses (wasting time and money :D). I've got my salam tempel (Eid money) from my uncles and aunts. They said I'm too big to get it but I still ask for it, I could use it for shopping. haha. Today we also went to my grandma's graveyard, giving doa for her. Then my family continued our trip to Garut (my father's hometown). We arrived there the next day, around 2am. We were so tired but excited at the same time. We went to some of my father's sibling's houses and before afternoon we went to Bandung.

THIS IS IT! BANDUNG!
Me and my siblings CAN'T wait to start shopping. Me, not really actually. I don't need to buy new clothes or dresses, I have lot of them already. But I really wanted to buy new pashmina scarfs. They are so expensive and I can never afford it with my own money, even if I can, I prefer to spend it to buy books :D Anyway, I've got daddy with me. Just smiled at him and he'd pay hohoo, naughty daughter. Whatever, this is one in a lifetime opportunity! And, they are nice scarfs really. I also bought a new shoes by accident, really I didn't plan to buy one but this one really attrack my attention! Another thing I was looking for in Bandung is a grey jacket wothout zip and with hood for Ibro. Yeah. Wallahi it was quite difficult to get one. I got one but then he said it wasn't really big, he wants bigger than the one I bought him.

*My new pashmina scarfs! Happy happy..

*Showing off! My new black shoes.

*Ibro's jacket. Kinda big for me but fit for him. Psst, I "borrowed" the jacket specially for this pict :P

So far, that was my story. We just spend few hours in Bandung because I have to catch up my flight on the next day. I need to packing and everything. But overall, this was one of the best Eid I've got! I can spend my time with my family and be happy with it and also the fact that I guess I do very well this Ramadhan. Thanks God for everything!

xoxo
Dara

Chapter 4: Hatyai "illegal" Trip

2008-09-26T00:30:00.014+08:00

Like I told you before, I was planning to go to Hatyai again with my girls which we did just a few hours ago. YEAH, The Company finally went to Hatyai. Not only because we can finally had quite a good shopping but also the fact that we went to Thailand ILLEGALLY. Yes people, believe it or not, none of us which each comes from Indonesia, Ethiopia, Pakistan and Somalia had entered Thailand border with stamps or visa. We illegally entered Thailand! OMG, wasn't it crazy? Yess it was!

First challenge: MALAYSIA IMMIGRATION

Everything was fine for me. As I'm an Indonesian and I entered Thailand many times before. We all lined up for the immigration check. The first problem was coming from Muna who needed to get her stamps on the office because she just renew her passport and all her previous stamps (datas) were, of course, in her old passport. We had to wait for her and answered all those officers questions and bla bla bla. But al least, the point is, she got the stamps and we all officially outside Malaysia.

*Took a picture in front of Bukit Kayu Hitam Immigration Office. Ready for the adventures!

*On the bus from Malaysia Immigration in Bukit Kayu Hitam to Thailand Immigration in Danok

Second challenge: THAILAND IMMIGRATION

Before that, I have to remind you that we know nothing about the visa regulation to enter Thailand. We just tried our luck. And it turned out that none of the countries are on the list for Visa on Arrival which meant we had to get back to Malaysia. But smart Fatima, she kept begging the officer to let us enter the border and Muna tried to convince them that we only wanted to go for shopping. It came to decicion that we had to go back until, thanks God, one of the nice officer called us and let us in! Yeah, he DID let us in, without any visa or stamps, just told us to go on. We didn't think twice! We didn't think of any problem that might happen with us after that. We just did it! Even I'm the one who supposedly can get my immigration stamps just entered freely like that and join my girls! I mean, we really wanted to have shopping in Hatyai so we just went! It wasn't all that free tho. He asked one of our passport (Muna's one) as a guarantee that we will go back in few hours, and we did.

*We bought our fatoor in Danok, the only place I know would profide us halal food.

*We used TukTuk to go to the Night Market. The girls were so happy because they finally can try this public transportation.

*See how crowded it was! And we almost lost Amber! hahah.

Third challenge: ILLEGAL TOURISTS!
Who will feel safe or comfortable when you go to a country illegally, I ask you? No one. Yeah. We felt unsecure, nervous, and all of these worried being caught or something. But afterall we did enjoy our trip. Amber cannot believe herself, I mean she's the one who really doesn't wanna break the rules but she just did. We like this feeling of being illegal and crazy and stuff. We dared try to break the rules! It wasn't just any rule. It IS international rules. A serious ones. If we were caught, khalaz, we'd be in jail. And another thing was, we promised the nice officer who let us in to go back on time so we really ran out of time. Girls shopping really needs lots and lots of times. Especially if you shop in Hatyai, the whole night won't be enough for you. But we tried our best to got back on time although we had to finished our shopping early and we kinda forgot to buy the things we really wanted to buy :D

Fourth challenge: (again) MALAYSIA IMMIGRATION

Remember that we got the departure stamps before? Then we entered Thailand illegally which meant we had no proof at all that we had been in Thailand. So, the problem was when we wanted to enter Malaysia again, the officer quite confused because we had no Thailand stamps then we made a very stupid and obvious lies ever; we told the officer that we didn't go to Thailand instead we just stayed in Duty Free. It was quite unreasonable because Duty Free closed at nine and it was 11 o'clock that time when we were in the immigration. Also, if they hadn't noticed, our plastic bags are all in Thai language that of course it wasn't coming from Duty Free. So, we made another silly lie by telling them that we met our friends from Thai who bought us all of our shopping. I think they knew we lied anyway but as long as they let us go, we are happy. Extremely happy! Ok, next as we can already guess, they once again let us in.

*Never forget to take a picture here, the proof that we had entered Thailand :D

*Welcome back to Malaysia *sigh*

Can you guys imagine how happy we were to be back here in Malaysia?? We were so happy! We really wanted to shout as loud as we can with all of this crazy and dangerous adventours we've been through! It's safe to be back. We knew that nothing to be worried anymore. We got our shopping, we weren't caught and throen to the jail, and we were absolutely proud of ourselves. We just became a few hours criminal in Thailand, hahaha.

Chapter 3: Hatyai Sept '08

2008-09-21T17:58:00.001+08:00

WELCOME TO THAILAND!

Oh ya! This wasn't my first time going to Thailand, Hatyai in this case, but still I felt so excited. Every semester I have to go to Thailand or I'll feel like there's something missing.

*missing means I'll loose the chance of adding more stamps on my passport which I like on doing, haha, psycho!

This time.. It was quite different. Not just because I went with my other 10 friends but also I did a very big shopping. Balik kampung is in process so I bought my family some stuffs. So so excited! Lots of things I bought and I can say I'm quite satisfied :D

Anyway.. first plan was all only three of us going (Ugi, Aulia and me) then I found out there was another group of 8 people planning to go to Hatyai exactly at the same time with us, so.. why didn't we join them and it would be more fun and that's true.

We rent a van for ourselves and enjoyed the trip. We went to this Night Market, the famous one in Hatyai and shopped till drop! Hahah..

Never expected us to be gather all the time. We just enjoyed our shopping until we realized that our friends' were all missing. We all went to different direction. That didn't happen with me, Ugi and Aulia tho. Both of them need me as their "body language" translator and helped them bargain. Ooh, so nice..

*Finally I found this glasses! Quite expensive tho (I mean, for me who won't really gonna use it the price is quite unacceptable) but at least I can just take a picture with it :D

I was happy, exhausted and satisfy also. Can't regret it. And, I didn't spend that much money although I feel like I shopped alot. Maybe, maybe, there'd be second trip to hatyai this month. I'll bring my girls there and hopefully I got the same joy and fun!

Chapter 2: The Beauty of Ramadhan

2008-09-18T17:18:00.001+08:00

Salaam...

There's something bothering my mind. A thinking. About Ramadhan.
This is the 3rd Ramadhan I have in Malaysia. I cannot say that I enjoyed it that much for those two previous Ramadhan. But this time, this Ramadhan, alhamdulellah, I enjoy it more than I can imagine. You might not know how different it is to have Ramadhan with and without your family. I used to have Mom who always tickles me and wakes me up for sahoor (early morning meal before Fajr). She never forgets to make a good appetizer for iftaar (break-fasting). Dad who always force (because we barely do it heartedly LOLs) us to go pray Taraweh in the mosque. My younger sister who sneaks the food thinking that we don't know but actually we know. Me wash tons of clothes because our housemaid goes back to her hometown and many other memorable things.

It was way different while I have to face the fact that I'm having my Ramadhan without my family. It's kinda tough the first time I tried but at least I can survive even though I never really feel the beauty of Ramadhan itself. There are a lot of things I've never done on the previous two Ramadhan but I do it in this Ramadhan such as;

1. Wake up for Sahoor. Yess. It was very difficult for me to wake up for Sahoor. I was damn lazy. Even if I did wake up I could only manage to eat an Appolo cake or Oath with a glass of water. That's it. What happened after it is so predictable. I felt so dizzy in the middle of the day because I didn't eat properly and I felt so weak. But amazingly it didn't happen this time. I wake up every day, 5A.M, I prepare my Sahoor; toast with chocolate and cheese, boiled eggs, cereal, or fried rice and lot of plain water. I am proud of myself, I can't even believe it myself. I mean, me?? Wake up so early in the morning?? With no mom who has to tickling me and wake me up up?? Me?? Yeah, it's me. The new me.

2. Pray on time. I even used to skip praying. That was bad. But this Ramadhan, OMG, every time I heard adzan I feel something pushing me to take wudhu and pray. I am, again, proud to say to myself that I never skipped, not even once, the five times prays a day this Ramadhan! I'm trying not to sound arrogant, because I don't want it to be a sin saying all of this things, but subhanallah... I mean, I can't even believe it myself. The best part is I also do my Taraweh every night. Although I have night class and just get back after 11, I will pray. I do feel tired but 2 rakaat Taraweh and 3 rakaat Weter won't make me feel more tired. How wonderful this Ramadhan is.. Right?? Mom asked me once about my Taraweh, she kinda disappointed because I don't go to the mosque and pray jamaah (remember, that what they always force us to do). But I explained her that I read my Qur'an in my Taraweh and I wish I can finish it by the end of Ramadhan that's why I don't go to the mosque. Also the fact that it was overall 23 rakaat and so hot in the mosque and I have to come early if I wanna take the best place underneath the fan, so thanks, I prefer to pray by my own.

3. Khatam Qur'an. Yes. This idea come from my beloved roommate, thanks to Sammar. She's the one who taught me to read Qur'an in my taraweh and try to khatam (finish). And I do it. I mean, I read it many times a day this Ramadhan and not only when I do my Taraweh. If I remember back in those previous two Ramadhan, I didn't even touch the Qur'an. I did read it but mostly because of force and some only because I was in the mood. But this time I wanna read it because I feel like I enjoy it, I want to finish it, again and again. Really, I don't know how to express this feeling. I try to read more everyday because I know once my period come, I have to stop for few days and I don't know how fast I have to catch up to finish it. Inshaallah I'll finish it. Ameen.

4. The Beauty of Ramadhan. What I mean is the days in Ramadhan itself. Nuzulul Qur'an night, Lailatul Qadr nights. I want to feel it. I want to enjoy it. Especially the last lailatul qadr nights. Everytime I think that I haven't got my period yet I pray to God to make it faster (my period) so I can get the lailatul qadr night. And allhamdulellah, I got my period although it has to cut some of the chance of my lailatul qadr nights. But still, I can't wait to welcome them. I have a lot of do'a I want to ask from God, hehehe... Hey, doesn't mean I don't ask God my do'a, I do it everytime I pray but you know that they say if you do it in lailatul qadr nights the possibility of being accepted is even bigger than the usual pray. I can't miss the chance!

Okay, that's all my story about my beautiful ramadhan. Hope people have the same feeling toward Ramadhan just the same like me or even better.

Smile!
Dara

Chapter 1: The Beginning

2008-09-18T16:10:00.001+08:00

Hi all!

Don't know how to start. Actually, long time I didn't write (in blog, I mean). Then someone named Reena (Who's she? I'll tell you later on) asked me to create one. Then, here I am.

Let me introduce myself.. My name's Mira Ayu Lastari. But most of my closed friends called me Dara. OK, for you Malay people I know, I know the way you rolled your eyes when you heard my name facing me like "Say it again? What's your name? Dara? Do you know what's it mean?", like I don't know what it's meant. I know Dara means "virgin" in Bahasa Melayu. So sometimes I heard those people giggling, mentioned my name "Dara, Dara" but what was in their head is "Virgin, Virgin", WTF.

*WTF:What The Freak (and not f*ck, I got that "freak" idea from QT; Who's he? Later on I'll tell you :D haha)

Enough about my nickname. I told myself that next time I meet any new Malaysian friends, I'll just introduce myself with my real name; Mira. Oh ya, you might want to know why I got Dara as my nickname. Ask me why and I'll say, "I don't know" haha, I mean, that's true! I don't know. But sometimes I dun't really wanna look like an idiot who doesn't even know why people named me Dara, so I made a good fake-but-not-really-fake answer. I'll tell anybody that when I was young, around 6yr old, I was the only little girl in the neighborhood. Back in time, there was a song called "Dara kau cantik jelita" (Dara you're very beautiful). And that song was very famous. And since then people called me Dara. Maybe because the fact that I was, and am, beautiful *cough* and I was the only Dara (namely "virgin" or little girl) in the neigborhood then people called me with the name. Haha, I told myself I'm quite creative making up a good story like that.

OK, did I just say that I wanted to stop writing about my name? haha, this time I WILL really stop. Next!

I was born in Jakarta. When? Haaa, this is another complicating mystery (if I can't call it a mistake, doh). Biologically I was born on February 24th 1987. My father left few months after I exsited in this world. You can imagine how was my mom that time, just new-married (almost 2yr only), lovely husband died and the fact that she had to be a single parent for me, so to make it short, she forgot to make me a birth certificate. It was few months after that my uncle reminded her to make me a birth certificate, and she did it. But she change my birthday into July 24th 1987. She said, she was late for more than six months. If she still wanted to make my birthday certificate like the way it should be (on February) she has to pay for summons. And, she didn't want it. So, she made it up for me. And, the funny part is my mom never told me my real birthday until umm, my 17th birthday! Haha, it was quite a shock for me to know that I'm a Pisces instead of Leo (you should know how proud I was to be Leo!). But Pisces is not bad.
Anyway, I now celebrate both birthdays. Those who know my July birthday will celebrate in July, for few less who knows my February's birthday will celebrate it with me on February :D

Continue..
I'm currently studying in Universiti Utara Malaysia, taking International Affairs Mangement, and single *twink*. I like listen to the music, my friend Muna (Who's she? I'll tell you about her later on :D) said that I'm the bank of songs. Ask any songs you want, I have them (almost all but not always I have them, I mean I'm not that freak *scroll eyes*) old and new songs, pop, R&B, HipHop, Rock, Indie, Korean, Arabic, Cartunes, Religious, anything! And, I like reading so so so much! If you go to the mall with me and later on you find out that I'm gone, no need to worry. Just go to the bookstore and you'll find me there. My favourite book is no other than HARRY POTTER!

Yeah! Ask me anything about the book, I'll answer you *proud*. I also like books written by Meg Cabot, Nicholas Sparks, Norah Roberts, Dan Brown, and so on. I like watching movie, especially those include dancing and explosions. Umm, what else? I like stalking on people *evil laugh* and travelling.

So far, so on, this is all about me.
Thank you for reading..